• She's Pfizer

    Music & lyrics by Les Goguettes translated by Ey@el

    original en français

    Elle est Pfizer

    She's got that glimmer in her eyes
    Which gives her an air of superiority
    That redness on top of her arm
    Where a plaster used to be
    There's clearly something special about her...
    For me, she sure is Pfizer!

    Every day I see her walk by
    In the neighbourhood, unmasked
    She kisses her neighbours
    And doesn't wash her hands anymore
    She's not afraid of the virus...
    For me, she sure is Pfizer!

    And I'm still living in the Middle Ages
    With a mask over my face
    So I cry out: “Jab me!
    But labs are all overwhelmed
    And there are delivery issues
    So we make the best of what we've got...
    With that yesterday I got my first dose
    Of AstraZeneca at the vet's...1

    And when she tilts a head to the side,
    She picks up 5G frequencies
    While all I get is a stiff neck
    And can hardly tune in to Nostalgia FM
    In a blink of an eye, she can call a cab...
    For me, she sure is Pfizer!

    She's able to follow Jean Castex's2
    Most complex conferences
    She can understand first hand
    New certifications
    Curfews, timeshifts...
    For me, she sure is Pfizer!

    And I won't get my second dose,
    There's been a bit of a hiccup
    From AstraZeneca.3
    It is said that for people my age,
    It can cause carnage.
    So I'm unsure, don't know why...
    I was already picturing myself in the world after
    Whereas in reality it's thrombosis.

    She's a master in teleportation,
    She pays for her groceries with her forehead.
    The only inconvenience
    Is that she gets all the security alarms ringing.
    She can understand the whole of Schopenhauer
    For me, she sure is Pfizer!

    And I feel restless like a lion in cage
    At the end of its rope.
    Inject me anything!!
    Since I couldn't wait any longer,
    I made an appointment with my garage
    And was treated like a king!
    From now on, I walk with an air of superiority
    After my motor oil jab...

    © Les Goguettes, 2021
    A pastiche of Pierre Bachelet's "Elle est d'ailleurs"

    Translated from French by Ey@el
    © lapensinemutine.eklablog.com


    1. ^ In France, vets have been requisitioned to vaccinate people.
    2. ^ Jean Castex is the actual French Prime Minister, infamous for his contradictory, kafkaesque sanitary measures which keep changing all the time, getting people utterly confused.
    3. ^ In France, like in many countries in Europe and worldwide, the AstraZeneca vaccine has been suspended due to severe side effects.
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