• The Arrogance of Ignorance

    Article by Sylvain Lamoureux

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    The following article is particularly important to me, not only because it perfectly captures my intent with this blog, but also illustrates the personal “drama” of my life. How do you communicate with others when what motivates you is self-development and conscience awareness for a better world and you get called all sorts of names and charged with petty accusations for your efforts? Not just by strangers but your closest relatives. Why do we even persist in trying? Because we're kind of stupid? Out of naivety? Optimism? Or maybe it's because we're just our authentic selves and nothing and nobody — neither emotional blackmail nor fear of rejection — can ever coerce us into fitting the mould of compliance set by a castrating society which conditions us at every level in order to breed us like chicken. Chicken run! :D



    On a more personal note, as recently as yesterday I was trying to be obliging with my own (extremely self-hating) mother who keeps complaining that we can never talk. So I tried to engage in mundane conversation to avoid any kind of controversy. I began telling her how I might have found out what triggered some of my current health issues, but she rudely cut me off in mid-sentence saying, “Oh yes, I know, it's because...” An almost systematic way of hers. No matter what I say, she can't help showing that she KNOWS. The problem is she knows absolutely nothing and what she thinks she knows, while arrogantly interrupting me, is all commonplace and never anywhere near what I actually have to say. So I either stop and shut up (what's the point if she's all knowing?) or insist trying hard not to get carried away while she's being downright rude, explaining as quietly as possible that it would be nice if she would just let me finish since what I meant to say is nothing like what she had in mind. It always turns out to be a total waste of time as, in any case, she continues unabated until I finally lose my temper, giving her all the evidence she needs that I'm always trying to impose my views on others... Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the unfairest of them all?

    So what do I do? Carry on assuming the stigma of the ingrate daughter thus allowing the manipulation to make me feel guilty and undermine my self-worth? Or realise that I was raised this way and that the lifelong lack of self-confidence that led me to miss many opportunities while having a dramatic influence on every choice I made was all but another form of conditioning.

    At any rate, reading this article sparked out many neural connections in my brain — triggering sudden insight and I do hope it will be the case for you as well. Today of all days you're more than welcome to share your own personal experience in the comments below.

    Ey@el

    How does a control mechanism based upon the minority population enact controls over the majority – fill them with fears, insecurities and an inflated sense of importance while pitting them against each other and offering the only viable solutions.

    This brings everything down to the personal level, so that any conversation (or attempt thereof) is immediately considered as a threat, no matter how logical it may be. There are always the basic projections such as “you just want to be right” or “you just want everyone to think like you” – always an external enemy instead of actually listening to the words and logic which is attempted to be conveyed. Divide and conquer at its basis, for this conversation is about people of same backgrounds and similar experiences which turn on each other at the drop of a hat over simple words, misunderstandings and fear of having their ignorance called out.

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  • Comments

    1
    Fanélie
    Monday 25th July 2016 at 02:59

    I believe the problem is that people are scared - so they feel like they need to hold on to strong beliefs. We all want permanent contracts in our lives, in every area - yet, nothing lasts forever...

    In the light of such an irrational and irrepressible aspiration, self-questioning is seen as a sign of weakness - when it is the actual path to understanding - knowing we know nothing, or so little...

    To me, this relate to the collective intelligence issue : as bright as an individual can be, it's still just an individual, influenced by his beliefs, principles, life experience: We are all blind to some matters.

    To me the only real truth lies (so fun how it comes out in English: truth/lies) where we all agree - as the only true god(s) lies where all religions agree. Everything else is details we shouldn't bother ourselves with.

    But it's easier to lock on details, easier to make things simpler, to want them set in stone, and permanent, and indisputable. To most people, it's terrifying to realize that everything's on the move and that nothing's certain. That how it is, though. All we know tell us that, from Philosophy to Physics - but it's hard to learn to lean on a sand wall.

    Truth is scary, lies are comforting. Shall you give your mother the answers she says she want, you'll make her even more unconfortable for shattering her security frame. Try to overpass that remembering she'll always be who she is, but won't ever be there - and that day, you'll miss it, that so annoying reactions of hers. Try to put a little tenderness into it, to see her as she is and not ask her for the impossible - walk the path she can't walk. That or write to her instead of talking, it's a lot harder to interrupt - but the ones who don't want to listen never will; She wants to be your solution, not hear about your problems (as a mother, I got to say I can somehow relate to that - not a solution, though). Many people are this way. Face the problems is a problem, when you can pretend there's an easier way.

    Anyway, the "ingrate-daughter-part" doesn't comes from you, but from her. Not sure you can do something about it if that's what she feels she needs you to be. Don't let it make you feel guilty thought- she can't see you, because she doesn't want to; it's not your fault.

    Probably you shouldn't hate her for that - her bad - but for sure you shouldn't let it undermine you. Again, you're not the problem here. It's not your fault if complexity, exchange, self-questioning scare her. Self-conscience is terrifying. Complexity is terrifying. Don't let conditioning rule you like it's ruling her, find your reflection in other, more opened eyes. She's not talking to you, but to the girl looking like you she imagines in her head - don't second-guess yourself on such a delusional point of view.

    Validation will come - from elsewhere; Sure it hurts when it can't come from parents - but it's actually quite frequent, guess it's because of all the projections parents can't help putting on their children's back...

    "Why isn't anyone taking care of me the way I would need to?" We all wonder. Well, because life's not a fairytale, shall God exists, it's not our mother, and shall it be our mother, it'll probably drive us crazy. We are our only drivers, and that is the most terrifyingthing of all. What if we are wrong? Well, just told that to someone else, but what matters is not the mistakes we made, make, will make - what matters is how we'll address to them. We're imperfect, all of us. Many can't stand that thought.

    And about the conscience-awareness for a better world, I think it looks so out there, such a lost cause it's like, a birth defect - But one of the most beautiful of all :-)

    2
    Monday 12nd December 2016 at 22:58

    First I want to thank you for the re-post of my article and it contents me that you found solace in it.

    The connection of neurons is all I can hope for and I enjoy it when I can believe that "if this is madness, at least I am not alone". :-)

    I enjoyed reading your introduction and empathize with your situation with your mother. I especially enjoyed this little gem: "Or maybe it's because we're just our authentic selves and nothing and nobody — neither emotional blackmail nor fear of rejection — can ever coerce us into fitting the mould of compliance set by a castrating society which conditions us at every level in order to breed us like chicken. Chicken run! :D"

    And there is no lack of emotional blackmail and fear - we call it "society".

      • Monday 12nd December 2016 at 23:51

        Thanks so much for your feedback and also glad you enjoyed my intro. It always feels so good when we realise we're not alone to feel  “unfit” or “misfit”. It's one thing to know it and another to have that confirmation. So thanks again and also for writing this article.

    3
    Tuesday 13rd December 2016 at 00:28

    I was looking through your site and I thought you might enjoy this if you have not already discovered it. The author offers all his books for free as a gift and they are worth the read. Here is a link to the last one that I read and left in Peru with the stipulation that it must be shared.

    The More Beautiful World Our Hearts Know Is Possible Charles Eisenstein - http://charleseisenstein.net/project/the-more-beautiful-world-our-hearts-know-is-possible/

     

    Enjoy

      • Tuesday 13rd December 2016 at 00:54

        Oh thanks. I didn't know this author but I shall definitely have a look and probably add it to my reading list. I also see it's been translated in French so that would be a nice idea to let the readers of my main blog in French know about it. Bless you for all this!

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