Self-Love: How To Nurture Inner Peace
To me, the best training you can get is from daily life. I think we all have had interactions such as, for instance, in road traffic where some drivers can behave like animals.
Just outside my home, there's a country lane which covers a couple of kilometers and I always come across drivers who yield and greet me and it feels like we are on the same wavelength — and there are others who are outrightly domineering, who won't yield and expect you to yield, you don't know how and why, and on top of that, aren't even grateful, leaving you wondering why this still happens in 2020. Why is that you have this kind of perception that you should dominate everyone around you? Why can't you just say “thank you” and why can't you understand that together we can all have fraternal relationships? What is it that prevents you from having such relationships?
The answer is up to them. Everyone is on their own different level of evolution. Therefore I won't play his ego game. Because it's an ego domination game they're in. If I get into this, if I get angry, he wins. Anger is a weakness, so I won't be overwhelmed by it. I can feel anger rise inside, yet I choose to let go. I don't want to hurt myself for I know that my anger won't hurt him — he won't change because I get angry at him — but it definitely will hurt me. And these two minutes could ruin a wonderful day when I was so happy to get to where I wanted to go. So I come to my senses (since, again, I can only work to change myself) and tell myself that it's no big deal and still sincerely wish him to change his viewpoint because we really need the world to change. I wish him all the best from the bottom of my heart.
Sending love to Your SELF
While the watchword would be to “send him love”, I, for one, find that utterly hypocritical as most of the times, we don't mean it. It is so hypocritical to say that as I explained a couple of years ago in a workshop video. Saying that you must send love to the other person is completely daft. And absolutely wrong. Because in those circumstances where they really pissed you off (that's the word), they're not the one who need love! The one who is upset is you. You're unhappy because they misbehaved. I'm starting to feel angry therefore I'm the one who needs love since I'm straying from my own light. I am actually creating the consequences. However, the consequences may end with me instead of me sending and amplifying them. Therefore I'm the one who needs love. It means I need to calm down.
So how can I calm down? Through full awareness.
I am fully aware that the domineering behaviour totally lacks awareness. This person is hypnotised. They might simply be stuck in their own doldrums, caught up in a mental loop. There is nobody home and they are so worried that perhaps they're not even aware of what is happening. I don't know. I don't know this person. I cannot judge her through the game they play. Who knows, under normal circumstances, they may be quite cool. I have no idea. So I come back to my senses and acknowledge that that I don't know. I don't know why. i don't know the reasons why I'm experiencing this situation, but all I know is the attitude and the response I can adopt. This is where I can have control.
Therefore I need to send love to myself. It's okay Lulu, no big deal. I will still have a great day and also I sincerely hope this man will be able to move on and I wish him the very best. And I really mean it for we want to help people. Simply because we wish everyone could help one another so that we become more receptive and more fraternal in our interactions. This is far from being unhealthy. But on the other hand, if instead you feel angry (“this is wrong, he's such a pain in the ass, I'm going to send him love”), this comes as purely hypocritical because, anyway, when you reside in your mental body, your love cannot go anywhere. Don't fool yourself, this is not love you're sending. You must stop claiming that. You need to send love to yourself. This how I send love to myself. Thus I come to full awareness and no longer harbour any animosity against this person as I understand — am aware of the situation. This is what sending love means. It's sending love to yourself. This is the first step to be able to really love the other person for who they are, i.e. I don't wish ill to this man, but I can understand him.
A daily learning process
Finally, I think that once you understand the basic principle of self-love, you can apply it on a daily basis to any situation. Thus, you will notice when you're hurting yourself. I said 'no', but I actually meant 'yes' — I'm hurting myself! I agreed to take charge of everything, but now I don't feel like it anymore— I'm hurting myself!
It happens every time you bypass your deep inner desire.
It might seem trivial, but I hear from people who don't like their job, who don't like their partner, and who can't see how they ended up in this situation. It's through all these little things. And now they would like a magic wand to change things!
I get messages from people who write “I'm waiting for the world to change so that my life can change at last”. Your life is actually all the consequences of what you did not apply to yourself — of all this non-love. Now if you start with little things such as stopping to not loving yourself and not respecting your will (your true will) — this is self-love, then you'll see that things will change. You will see that real life is about doing the things we love and that everything falls into place through the little things we do on a daily basis, through the people we meet every day and all the influences, all the stuff you did inside. All these things fall into place because they also create positive consequences for your own well-being. And you will be the first to see it. Also because you'll be at the forefront. All this is for you.
One more thing to avoid guilty feelings. You need to know that it's fairly simple yet not very easy. The simplest things are not necessarily easy to apply. It's okay if you have trouble at first and then say “I didn't listen to myself”, etc. The first step is the will to change and implement new things within you. The rest will follow progressively. It's just like when you learn to ride a bike. So you shouldn't feel guilty, take it easy — as easy as possible. Make it fun too, it helps a lot. Also, don't take things too seriously, be light and consider that you'll have a whole new day tomorrow to improve. The great thing is that's the purpose of our being here so no strain.
Transcribed & translated from French by Ey@el
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Tags: psychology, emotions, self-help, law of attraction, Lulumineuse
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