They're all for recycling!1 Essentially when it's good for business. Weeks before Christmas, they overload you with their ads, special offers, and cheap-o-sucker deals to trick you into purchasing stuff you neither want nor can afford to give out as presents, but well... it ain't Christmas everyday, huh? And then you don't want your kids, your family, or your friends to call you a nasty Grinch, do you?
Right after Christmas, in his New Year's Eve (pre-recorded) broadcast on all national TV channels, the current operating puppet of the shadow government will give you their weather forecast for the year to come: taxes and cuts galore in a effort to root out waste and overconsumption in the most worthy purpose of reducing the carbon footprint. Just think, you bunch of dirty polluters who keep breathing and farting too much, snapping at all the junk we get you to buy every year while it's all unfit for human consumption, but because you're worthless — and also because we want to have it all possible ways2... argh!
No point here in deconstructing the paradox of the incoherent propaganda we've been fed with since... oops, the outset. Too much trouble plus cognitive dissonance kills me. So if you wish to split the difference, that is pleasing your family neither sacrificing your principles nor budget, let's go through your trash! With not much, a hint of good will and lots of imagination, you might come up with wonders such as my selection below — no instructions provided but all meant to be inspirational.
Click on each picture to enlarge
So would you rather go for some eco-green or bookish Christmas tree? Wino or corp wreath? Addict or geek decoration? Which part of reindeer do you like best: cork or bottle? Come on, bring on the strawberries3 and let's talk Santa or Grinch!
Happy season recycling,
- ^The original phrase in French was actually a double entendre, also meaning hijacking.
- ^ Another pun in French, the idiomatic equivalent of “to have one's cake and eat it” being literally “to have the butter and the butter's money” to which I added the cow and the foil it comes wrapped with.
- ^ Another missed pun here as “bring in your strawberry” is the literal translation of an idiomatic expression in French meaning to manifest oneself as irrelevant or stick one's nose in something. I kept the literal translation for obvious reasons there.
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