• Polaroid Android: The Troll

    Article by Ey@el

    Original en français

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    WARNING: This article contains strong language and graphic scenes which could offend younger readers and sensitive sheeple. Read on at your own risk.

    The above cartoon parody music video was created and produced by HATIOHEAD, “a collective of creative citizens who are saddened and embarrassed by the idiocy of our current government and its moronic leader” (sic). Based on Radiohead's famous "Creep", it is about “the most powerful Twitter troll in the world”, even though most pseudo-truths mentioned in these lyrics are but media propaganda waste. Real truth will mess them all up. The enemy of my enemy is not necessarily my friend. So one can be anti-Trump without supporting the opposite side, but to most Americans (and Europeans too), still very stuck inside the duality of the 3D and its polarities, it clearly won't hit home. Beam me up Scotty! For further details (if anyone cares given that there is a general tendency to respond like a Pavlov dog who won't dig for bones but instead bark out and jump down the the messenger's throat — the Postman Syndrom, perhaps?), please, refer to Related articles as usual.

    Tweet

    Escalator from the top floor,
    Don't look at my wife's fakin' eyes
    Immigrants, I say they're bringing in rapists, drugs, crime, 
    And like three decent guys, they're mostly bad hombres.

    I'm racist like my father —
    Sieg Heil1 papa! 
    We'll build a beautiful wall,
    It'll be wonderful and yuge;
    But the reporter who’s special,
    You've gotta see this guy,
    He's so fucking special.

    I will tweet, I'll distract you
    Rosie O’Donnell2 has AIDS!
    Can't you see what I'm doing here?
    It’s The Art Of The Deal3.
    Obama's not born here,
    He's from Kenya, look it up!

    We don't care who we hurt,
    Isn't that right, Stevie4?
    White men are in control,
    I'll grab your perfect pussy
    My hands are tiny,
    You won't even feel it.

    Throw Muslims in Gitmo 
    Or get out, and no-one will notice.
    As long as you're black or brown,
    Dark skin makes you worthless.
    I'm white so I'm special.

    So I'll just tweet, I’m rubber, you’re glue now CNN 
    Whatever I'm guilty of,
    I'll blame crooked Hilary somehow —
    Ho ho emails!
    I'm gol-fing again —
    Gotta love Mar-a-Lago5!
    I just keep on lying
    I'll let my mouth at run, run and run...

    Don't worry tax is almost done
    Another breath, that really drained the old swamp.

    I’ll keep the EPA6, nuclear winter will cool us down.
    You snowflakes aren't special,
    Russia won me the election —
    Shhh... don't tell the FBI!

    So I will tweet while I'm on the crapper —
    It's gold, it's very nice.
    I'm petty, vain and weak,
    I don't belong here.
    Who knew this was so hard?
    No I don't belong here
    Sad...

    Transcribed by Ey@el
    © lapensinemutine.eklablog.com

    Emails (The Hillary Mix)

    So in order to settle all scores, here's an extra spoof of this parody featuring Hillary. It was written by Ray I also would like to thank for helping me to fill the blanks and correct the misheard bits in the above transcript.

    Escalator to the bottom floor
    Don't look at my life’s fakin’ lies
    Immigrants, I say bring in rapists, drugs, crime,
    And like three decent guys, they're mostly bad hombres.

    I'm sexist like my sisters —
    Sieg Heil Huma!
    We'll build a firewall
    No one will penetrate it,
    But the reporter who’s special,
    You've gotta see this guy,
    He so fucked me special.

    I will email, I'll redact too.
    Huma and Heba7 are my AIDS,
    Can't you see what I'm doing here?
    It’s The art of the deal
    Obama's not even born here
    He's from Kenya, look it up!

    We don't care who we hurt
    Isn't that right, Bill?
    I’m a white man’s troll
    Who’ll grab my yuge pussy
    No hands that are tiny,
    I won't even feel it.

    Throw Zionists to Wall Street
    And bail them out, and no-one will notice.
    As long as they always bring us down,
    Their money is worthless.
    I'm trite, I’m not special.

    So I'll just email, wherever I want
    Whatever I'm guilty of,
    I'll blame Putin somehow —
    Ho ho the emails!
    I'm hi-ding again —
    I’m jealous of Mar-a-Lago!
    I just keep on lying,
    I'll set my mouth at run, run and run

    Sure I’m lax, that’s why I’m done,
    Another breath, that really drained this old swamp.

    I’ll keep the NSA — shhh, the all seeing eye
    I’m not sweet, in fact i’m bitter,
    I’m cold, just like ice.

    I'm petty, vain and weak
    I belong here
    I really fell hard?
    I belong here
    Sad...

    @ Ray Lewison, 2017

    My personal touch (with a grain of salt)

    Personally, I happen to have an even darker perception of Hillary's vibes, and so for the chorus at least, I would have written something like that instead:

    I'm a bitch, I'm a psycho,
    What a hell I'll break loose here!
    It won't be long dear...

    As for Trumpy:

    I'm a fraud, I'm a sicko,
    On a highway to hell I'll drive US dear.
    I won't stay long here...

    Of course, it's closer to the original lyric structure. For the rest, let me remind you I'm NOT the author any of the above parodies and didn't take the trouble to write an intro and conclusion just to make this post longer. So Dumb and Dumber, please, if you come across this and cannot read properly, go back to first grade or straight to optician square without collecting $200 from the bank.

    Also, many thanks to faithful Neo — creep lover but no (Pavlov) doggy — for suggesting me to share this spicy bite with you. Enjoy! There again, it's your summertime's series so, as they say in Britain, stay cool as cucumbers but mind the crap.

    Banzai!

    Ey@el

    Endnotes

    1. ^ The Nazi salute.
    2. ^ An American lesbian activist and TV host Trump insulted during his campaign, creating a public outcry.
    3. ^ Trump's bestselling book first released in 1987.
    4. ^ Steve Bannon, chief executive of Trump's campaign and currently White House Chief Strategist.
    5. ^ Name of Trump's official mansion in Palm Beach, Florida.
    6. ^ Environmental Protection Agency .
    7. ^ Huma Abedin who was Hillary Clinton's personal assistant and co-chief executive of her campaign, and Heba, her sister.

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