• Merry Christmas Exclamation Point

    Music & lyrics by Jon Lajoie

    A bit like fellow countryman Jim Carrey, Canadian comedian/actor/singer Jon Lajoie, presented to you earlier this year (see Related articles), is not shy about exaggerating and overdoing his satires. This is the way he gained his fame in North America (but also in Germany) mostly from his parodical videos posted on his YouTube channel, featuring songs with extremely pungent lyrics. As with all previous ones, this song is no exception to the rule. And sadly, the relevance of these lyrics is absolutely appalling. That said, just because I don't have the pleasure to know you personally doesn't mean I don't wish you all a merry Christmas and also all the best for the next three hundred and five days (leap year).

    Ey@el

    You're the dude from high school I see at the gym,
    You're a friend of a friend or a second cousin,
    You're a co-worker I sometimes eat lunch with,
    You're one of my many acquaintances.

    You know Christmas is about spending time
    With friends and family,
    But just because you're not in one
    Of those two categories
    Doesn't mean that I won't still
    Do something special for you.
    Because Christmas is about giving,
    So here's what I'll do:

    I'm gonna send you a Christmas text!
    I'm gonna send you a Christmas text!
    I'm gonna send you a Christmas text!
    Gonna type “Merry Christmas exclamation point”
    And then press “Send”.

    Maybe I'll just copy and paste it
    (From a previous text).
    Well, it's only two words I might as well just type it
    (Less complicated).
    If you're thinking of calling me to thank me, oh please don't
    (That's not how this works).
    Texting is as far as this relationship goes
    (And keep your response brief).

    I have way more important people in my life,
    You're not even in the top fifty.
    It's not that I don't care about you...
    Well, yeah, I don't really care about you,
    But doesn't mean that I won't still
    Do something special for you
    Because Christmas is about giving,
    So here's what I'll do:

    I'm gonna send you a Christmas text!
    I'm gonna send you a Christmas text!
    I'm gonna send you a Christmas text!
    Gonna type “Merry Christmas exclamation point”
    And then press “Send”.

    I don't care enough
    To call,
    But I don't “not care” enough
    To do nothing.
    And to all of my non-Christian friends
    I will text you:
    “Hey dude, what's going on?
    We should tots hang next week!”

    © Jon Lajoie, 2013

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