• Letter to Father Christmas (1)

    Letter by Thom Yorke

    Clearly, Thom Thumb is much in the news of late. Not only did he sneak his way into the Yule Ball in Hogwarts last Tuesday (see Related articles) and came over to bust the asses of our world leaders in Paris last fortnight (obviously all in good faith and pure ignorance), now our climate cooling buddy goes after Santa. Well, yes, this happens this time of the year — and it also happens to be the theme of the week in case you couldn't tell — a nice change from those bearded and boring guys of all kinds we're being told our ears off on the news (well, I guess so, because I know better than to watch TV). So, to celebrate National Letter Writing Day in the UK, on 7th December 2015, Mister Yorke (along with some other fellow British celebrities) had a crack at writing a letter to the fat chap in red pyjamas whom he modestly asked for some reading glasses, “the blue ones,” he specified. Why blue? Does he regret swallowing the red pill? Well, here, in France, at least, we'll definitely get the blue ones for sure.


    dear father christmas

    it is years since i wrote to you.
    i hope this letter finds you well and that the snow is still continuing to fall up in lapland.

    here it is mostly rain. not even jumper weather yet!
    but the christmas albums are already being played in the shops.
    that must be so embarrassing for you.

    i know this year you will be exceptionally busy for you.
    we all expect a little too much of you now i think.
    and there are so many imposters on television. even in the street.

    since i wrote to you last when i was 9 i have tried to be good, but sometimes failed spectacularly.
    i have also tried to do what i’m told but often have delighted in doing the exact opposite.
    but always i have tried to give love and try not to cause hurt.

    dear father christmas
    what i’m saying is ..
    now that i’m 47, if i have any last remaining credit with you, i have just these small requests.

    that my kids have a beautiful christmas
    with love and understanding and peace.
    perhaps some heavy snow? that would be really great.
    and can you just send the precious things that will really mean something to them?
    and can you send them some hope for the future. that is very important.

    i won’t ask you to solve the problems of the human race. those are our problems alone.

    but perhaps this year you would consider not giving any presents to oil company executives and the politicians whose influence they buy?

    and for me? just some reading glasses.. :/ the blue ones.

    yours completely sincerely


    p.s. thanks for the zx81 computer when i was 11. that was really wicked.

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