• Horoscope 2018 (2)

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    Cancer: Why are you retreating?
    Fight back!

    Capricorn: Everyone knows you voted Trump.
    Take the bullshit!

    Leo: You're not doing too good.
    Your spirits wouldn't be a bit low?

    Aquarius: There's no talking to you without being
    blown out of the water. Take it easy!

    Virgo: What does it take to get at you?
    Don't be so cold.

    Pisces: Nothing fishy about your love life, it's perfect.
    Don't forget to breathe, though.


    NOTE: In theory, these horoscopes are pure fantasy. In effect, any self-fulfilling prediction would be totally coincidental.

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