Pictures by unknown authors captioned by Ey@el

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Cancer: Why are you retreating?
Fight back!

Capricorn: Everyone knows you voted Trump.
Take the bullshit!

Leo: You're not doing too good.
Your spirits wouldn't be a bit low?

Aquarius: There's no talking to you without being
blown out of the water. Take it easy!

Virgo: What does it take to get at you?
Don't be so cold.

Pisces: Nothing fishy about your love life, it's perfect.
Don't forget to breathe, though.

NOTE: In theory, these horoscopes are pure fantasy. In effect, any self-fulfilling prediction would be totally coincidental.