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Pictures by unknown authors captioned by Ey@el

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Aries: Your basic attitudes can be freaky sometimes.
Watch out for headlocks.

Taurus: Your rock-solid stability is what makes you a good
friend to lean on. Carpe diem.

Gemini: Frozen by existential angst, you are in danger
of taking root. Stop vegging out.

Cancer: Too set in your armour, you can't see the soft spot
someone has for you. Don't shield yourself.

Leo: You really seem to have a bone to pick with everybody.
Don't be so foul-mouthed.

Virgo: Stuck in your rigid mindset, you're on the verge of
bradycardia. Don't be so stone-faced.

To be continued: more signs tomorrow...

Ey@el

NOTE: These horoscopes are pure fantasy. Therefore any self-fulfilling prediction would be totally coincidental.